Qualities of a relationship such as openness， compassion and mental stimulation are of concern to most of us regardless of sex， but - judging from the questionnaire response， they are more important to women than to men. Asked to consider the ingredients of close friendship， women rated these qualities above all others. Men assigned a lower priority to them in favor of similarity in interests， selected by seventy-seven percent of men， and responsiveness in a crisis， chosen by sixty-one percent of male respondents. Mental stimulation， ranked third in popularity by men as well as women， was the only area of over-lap. Among men， only twenty-eight percent named openness as an important quality; caring was picked by just twenty -three percent.
It is evident by their selections that when women speak of close friendships， they are referring to emotional factors， while men emphasize the pleasure they find in a friend's company. That is， when a man speaks of 'a friend'， he is likely to be taking about someone he does things with - a teammate， a fellow hobbyist， a drinking buddy. These activities are the fabric of the friendship; it is a 'doing' relationship in which similarity in interests is the key bond. This factor was a consideration of less than eleven percent of women. Women opt for a warm， emotional atmosphere where communication flows freely; activity is mere background.
Lastly， men， as we have seen， have serious questions about each other's loyalty. Perhaps this is why they placed such strong emphasis on responsiveness in a crisis - 'someone I can call on for help.' Women， as their testimonies indicate， are generally more secure with each other and consequently are more likely to treat this issue lightly. In follow-up interviews this was confirmed numerous times as woman after woman indicated that 'being there when needed was taken for granted.'
As for the hazards of friendship， more than a few relationships have been shattered because of cutthroat competition and feelings of betrayal. This applies to both men and women， but unequally. In comparison， nearly twice as many men complained about these issues as women. Further， while competition and betrayal are the main thorns to female relationship， men are plagued in almost equal amounts by two additional issues： lack of friendship and a fear of appearing unmanly. Obviously， for a man， a good friend is hard to find.
Question 16： What quality do men value most concerning friendship according to a questionnaire response?
Question 17： What do women refer to when speaking of close friendships?
Question 18： What may threaten a friendship for both men and women?